~ Last Love Letter

Here we go a fuckn again!

 

People always want to act like they are innocent. But when shit hits the fan and all the bullshit starts sling out …You want to play like you're Deaf, Dumb &
Blind.

 

…Oh you didn't realize I was paying attention!!

 

FOOLED YOUR ASS… Bamma!

 

Let's see how long it takes you to figure this out, because I know you're still lying …

I am so sick of you talking shit and never do shit –

-I mean, how are you going to tell me how to do something; but you not doing it or even been through it…?

 

-Baffling-

 

Really …

You should be listening to me and following my lead, so I can help you out of the shit you in,

 

But NAWHHH…

 

You want to abuse a blessing. AND really it doesn't make such since. I mean why would you give-up your future for an "easy-button"?

~ Good things come to those who work for GOOD. ~

You can't break under any pressure. You can't choose to do something different because it sounds easier or quicker…

In that moment –YOU- have given-up on yourself.

 

…and the situation that you are in. All you had to do is follow the rules because they've long been predetermined…

 

Look – I find it completely disturbing to injure

THE PERSON THAT IS HELPING YOU!!

-if you can't tell, I'm completely angry inside...

 

And this is about me sanity and MY Personal Happiness

-I can NOT allow YOU to steal my MY Joy.

You get that [it's not yours] it's MY JOY!

…;And Not about your selfish Bullshit!

 

…So I'm Telling you now…

You don't ever have to worry about me

because I don't need your negative attention (from any direction).

 

I love ME

And it's TOO bad you Don't

Love Me just as MUCH!!!

• See, I cherish every moment I spend with myself and I do believe you should as well because; I fathom my next my next thoughts because I'm fascinated by me ability to come up with some amazing things. And I do believe you should too.
  

  
   

So with that said…

If you don't agree; here's your "Easy-Button". Take your chance – BUT I can't guarantee that I'll wait for you to comprehend.

And if I do desire to be so generous again and you find me …

-I'll still be your friend-

…And you don't have to worry about paying me back, because I'm good and will always be. (Remember, you used your Blessing the wrong way)

 

 

~I just wanted you to happy; because that's what you asked…

 

• To get what you want, is a GOD given gift.
  

  
   

  ~Last Love Letter + Dueces
  

Who Cares?

I write these things (blogs) when I'm presented with a problem hoping that some one will come along and comment and offer a solution. But really I sit back sometimes and think ... Really Who Cares?

Look at this situation:

A family memeber comes to you one day and says they need help. With what, you ask and they respond with this lomg drawn out story about how they need to pay this bill and they promise to pay you back. So you loan them the money never to see it touch your hands again. It is then that you say to yourself that you will never loan money out anymore.

Here's another:

A friend comes to you with a relationship problem and they say they need to get out. They tell you want's going on and at the end of the story they say they need to borrow some money. Feeling sorry and wanting be a good friend you loan them the money never to see it touch your hands again.

So you've learned two lessons here: 1. You don't loan money to family ... You just give it to them. 2. You don't loan money to friend because you will never see it again.

But here comes the question of who really cares. Say you're in a relationship and it falls completely apart. You have two kids and everything that you have is savagely ripped away from you. You and your kids left with nothing, not even a roof to put over you head.

You run to your family 1st because that is what most people are taught to do. Why: because blood is thicker then water and family comes first. So they let you stay with them until they realize how difficult your situation is and it starts causing problems.

Then you run to a friend and say I need help and they tell they can't help you because they got problems of their own. Baffled, you say wow and think back to when you had problems of your own but you were still there to help.

So now let's say you've been working hard to get back your feet and have had many set backs. You do your best still to be the kind hearted person that you are and when people come to you in trouble you do your best to help in ways you can. The funny thing about doing your best with what you have some people never see it. And that becomes not good enough and put stress on you and the relationships you have but you try so hard not to hold any grudges.

Through this you work harder and then hit with even harder times; car brakes down, child support isn't paid. Because of that you can't pay to get your car fixed and then daycare becomes an issue and with that you lose your job. Leaving you feeling like what else can go wrong and when is the wrong going to stop and become right. After all, you're a good person - you go to school, you were working, you don't hang out; you're just focused on getting back on you're feet.

Now you're at the point were you feel it's your lowest and you can't go any lower without dieing. Energy is zapped and you are literally dragging youself throughout the day. Only because you believe in all your heart that something has to change.

Then you notice it ... Small things everyday getting better. New doors opening and those people that you ran to for help that looked down on you through their nostrils are now on the same level as you ... And they see that you that you are still going. They start reaching out to you trying to tap you the back. But you notice this and give them a moment of your attention and they start with their stories again.

Again not holding any grudges you listen and feel sorry ... But really you think. Really do you care about me. Did you see the real and apparent problems that I am facing and trying to rid of? And you're still holding your hands out to me so you can catch up. I mean C'mon you threw a trash-can at me as I was running after you. I fell and you didn't even see me scrap my knee.

But you being the kind hearted person you are you sit there and contemplate ... If I help again this time ... Will you hold me back again or will you help me like you say you would? Is this a desparate plea that will only hurt me again?

So who really gives a fuck ... People that I thought it would be automatic ... It's turns out they don't.

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It Goes Two Ways

Some people can tell you everything you shouldn't do and point out all the things that you have done wrong. But fail to see their life in plain view. Then when you point out something in their life that is an analogy of what they are saying to you ... They want to get mad and run away.

See I'm the type of person that takes the hits and keep on going. Ok, you tell me what's wrong and I'm listening, not arguing;

Number 1. Because I want to make yourself better, and

Number 2. Because arguing isn't worth wasting my energy.

But I am also they type of person that pays attention and can point out what's wrong with you in comparison to what you are talking about.

So don't get mad; although most do. Then they don't want to talk to me. But look at this: most people in my life know that if you're in distress I'm there; doing whatever it is that is needed.

Which lead to my point: You people can't get mad at me when you know I'm telling you the truth about yourself. You can dish it out to me and expect to me coward out. But I don't and you ran away slinging your anger at me. BUT you came running back because you need something from me... BUT you know what: this time I'm not giving in.

You put me down but you don't spend the time pulling me back up. I do; both when you're down and when I am too. It's a two way street and collisions happens. It takes time to repair damages but both parties at some point have to come together and figure out how to make it happen.

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This Damn Arizona Shooter

Ok I'm not saying this out of ignorance, I'm just sick of hearing about this damn shooter that is taking over our media. I mean C'mon, we have a lot of crazy people in this world that do a lot of crazy things everyday.

Why so much attention on this? Is it because she was a Congress woman. What about the little girl born on 9/11... I think that her death is equally as tragic and the injuried congress woman. But why so much hype?

We all agree the man was crazy and the event was tragic. When will people get past this drama?

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Watching: 17 Kids and Counting

Ok so I'm sitting here watching this show and first off I can't believe this woman had all these kids and is about to have another one. Crazy! Why didn't she just open a daycare. Crazy!

But anyways so they are saying that they are a very conservative family and they don't let the kids watch too much tv. ... So my first thought is: Why The Hell Are They On TV? I wonder do they let the kids watch themselves or will they have to wait until they grow up and see how crazy this shit is?

Look Amish people seem to be very cool, calm and collected people and I respect their values. But this shit right here is crazy!

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Crazy Muthafuckas

We all encounter then everyday and we just brush them off like..."yah, that mofo is crraazzyy!" And then try to avoid them. But some of them, hide it so well and they pull you in; then snap. Leaving saying in your head "fuck, I got to get away quickly and not cause anymore trouble."

Those type of crazy people leave a lasting impression on you life. They leave you wonding how the hell you even got connected with them. Like this one guy I met, he was real sweet and tended to my every need. I said to myself, "man, he's a catch...but something isn't right about him".

At some point, I guess he could tell I was getting a little defensive and did more to draw me in. Then one day it all came out and I was like, "Oh...fuccck".

Let me tell you, this creep had me looking over my shoulder like Jason was coming after me. He was a total nightmare. I think what made him go even more psycho is that I would tell him he was crazy... Lol. But I guess that was the craziness in me(I'm always up for a challenge...but not this one).

He had these mood swings. One minute he was happy, next minute was cussing me out calling all kinds of names. Then he'd tell he love me. And I was like...

Whooeee, whoooee, slow down ...

You really got some serious issues here. You need to go talk to someone about this... And I left him alone.

But he didnt leave me alone... Texting, calling, texting calling. Dude stop! You are really doing some crazy shit here. Think about it... Damn!

Lesson here: go off your 1st thoughts. Question it and question it and if the answers don't match and leaves you with the next Scooby Doo mystery.... RUN!

The next crazy set of mofos make me laugh because I wonder why people go to such lenghts ot get someones attention. You know those online relationships people have but they never get to see the person. Not even a picture and they never get to hear the persons vioce. But yet they fall in love and become committed to something that they have never seen, heard or felt...

Crazy

I mean c'mon how is that even possible. What is the self image issue that you have that you feel it's ok to have an unseen love? I know I can't be the only person that thinks there is something wrong with that.

Lesson here: learn how to love yourself. Then you won't feel so needy.

I know some people that are so afraid of the crazy people in thier lives that they plot and plan everyday to get away from them. And I think that it's so sad they they are going though the things that they do. Me personal, I have had my run-in's with many crazy people. Some real close to me and others just happenings. But those that were close to me now understand, I'm not taking their crazy shit any more.

And I wish that more people in these types of situations would just stand up to the Bullshit and walk out. Stand up and say not another day will I let these crazy muthafuckas fuck with me.

Look I'm not trying to put any one down but you only allow yourself to have what you want. So if a crazy muthafucka is good enough for you... I hope all your dreams come true. Ha!

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Lesson Learned

I put you in this place in my heart so long ago. Good or bad, happy or sad; I said I'd be there. But as son as it got bad we both ran away. And the saddest part is that we only had to hold on and remember how good it felt to be together.

So I suppose a "do-over" is needed. And that the past be the past and us that as reference of what not to do again. I know over all, you were great. We were great and it felt good.

Let's see what heights we can reach and what lows we can defeat. But most of all let's do it together. And fuck what everyone got to say.

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