Look at this situation:
A family memeber comes to you one day and says they need help. With what, you ask and they respond with this lomg drawn out story about how they need to pay this bill and they promise to pay you back. So you loan them the money never to see it touch your hands again. It is then that you say to yourself that you will never loan money out anymore.
Here's another:
A friend comes to you with a relationship problem and they say they need to get out. They tell you want's going on and at the end of the story they say they need to borrow some money. Feeling sorry and wanting be a good friend you loan them the money never to see it touch your hands again.
So you've learned two lessons here: 1. You don't loan money to family ... You just give it to them. 2. You don't loan money to friend because you will never see it again.
But here comes the question of who really cares. Say you're in a relationship and it falls completely apart. You have two kids and everything that you have is savagely ripped away from you. You and your kids left with nothing, not even a roof to put over you head.
You run to your family 1st because that is what most people are taught to do. Why: because blood is thicker then water and family comes first. So they let you stay with them until they realize how difficult your situation is and it starts causing problems.
Then you run to a friend and say I need help and they tell they can't help you because they got problems of their own. Baffled, you say wow and think back to when you had problems of your own but you were still there to help.
So now let's say you've been working hard to get back your feet and have had many set backs. You do your best still to be the kind hearted person that you are and when people come to you in trouble you do your best to help in ways you can. The funny thing about doing your best with what you have some people never see it. And that becomes not good enough and put stress on you and the relationships you have but you try so hard not to hold any grudges.
Through this you work harder and then hit with even harder times; car brakes down, child support isn't paid. Because of that you can't pay to get your car fixed and then daycare becomes an issue and with that you lose your job. Leaving you feeling like what else can go wrong and when is the wrong going to stop and become right. After all, you're a good person - you go to school, you were working, you don't hang out; you're just focused on getting back on you're feet.
Now you're at the point were you feel it's your lowest and you can't go any lower without dieing. Energy is zapped and you are literally dragging youself throughout the day. Only because you believe in all your heart that something has to change.
Then you notice it ... Small things everyday getting better. New doors opening and those people that you ran to for help that looked down on you through their nostrils are now on the same level as you ... And they see that you that you are still going. They start reaching out to you trying to tap you the back. But you notice this and give them a moment of your attention and they start with their stories again.
Again not holding any grudges you listen and feel sorry ... But really you think. Really do you care about me. Did you see the real and apparent problems that I am facing and trying to rid of? And you're still holding your hands out to me so you can catch up. I mean C'mon you threw a trash-can at me as I was running after you. I fell and you didn't even see me scrap my knee.
But you being the kind hearted person you are you sit there and contemplate ... If I help again this time ... Will you hold me back again or will you help me like you say you would? Is this a desparate plea that will only hurt me again?
So who really gives a fuck ... People that I thought it would be automatic ... It's turns out they don't.
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